Sisters and Secrets
by Gemmaaaaa
Summary: Despite the sombre nature of their conversation she can only giggle and bring her cooling tea up, to her lips to sip. It's well known she and Anakin share a very… Healthy intimate life together. They make no secret of it, so much so that Luke and Leia have taken to groaning and throwing things when they catch them kissing. It is their jobs as parents to embarrass them. (AU)
**_This is part of my "Happy Family AU series!" I would suggest reading the others (or at least, just the first one) to understand some of the callbacks in this story._**

She wakes slowly, eyes fluttering open to be greeted by the wondrous sight of the sun rising over the lake through the open veranda doors, letting the light drift into the bedroom… Despite how much of the Galaxy she's been blessed with opportunities to see, no matter how many adventures she has, Naboo is truly the most beautiful world there is. Just being here, being _home_ has rejuvenated her, re-energised every part of her, she can feel it. Perhaps it's getting to spend her time exclusively with her family without worries of work that has done the trick… The children are growing up so quickly, they have to savour what time they have with them. The kids love it here anyway, Luke, Leia and Jon are almost never out of the water – it's a wonder they aren't out there swimming already, driving poor Teckla to insanity. Even their little Margaery giggles and squeals when Anakin takes her into the water to play.

Being here together has done them all a world of good, and as always when they're here, she never wants to leave… The part of her twitching to know what's happening back in Coruscant is easily suppressed around her children. There are more important things in her world than the petty squabbles of her fellow politicians. It's a fine balance between work and family, and she's still learning to walk it, especially now her babies are getting bigger. Sometimes she only has to look at the Twins to feel terribly old. It's a little frightening.

The peace of her awakening is shattered when Anakin shifts in his sleep beside her and emits a quiet snore. Such a noise should be irritating but she merely smiles. Perhaps in any other marriage his snoring _would_ warrant irritation, but she's spent far, far too many hours wishing to wake up to such noses when he was half way across the Galaxy, facing untold dangers every day. Now she gets to sleep by his side and wake with him every morning and she does not take that for granted. Turning her body over to look at her husband, Padme's smile grows as her heart swells with the purest affection as she takes in his thoroughly mused hair, mouth slightly open and one long arm hanging off the edge of the bed. He is a mess. And she loves him for it. Unable to resist, she climbs over him, resting one leg on either sides of his hips, her thick curtain of hair falling to shield them from whatever lays outside the safety their bed.

Sometimes she likes to be the one awake while he sleeps, rather than the other way around. She knows Anakin enjoys watching her at night, but mornings are strictly her territory. He'd sleep long into midday if it was allowed, but she's always been an early riser, having had the habit drummed into her while ruling Naboo as a teenager. The adoration he's unconsciously awakened in her this morning doesn't fade as he groans, close to waking, if anything it merely grows. Her lips gift a kiss to his own, and then to his cheek. After that she presses a whisper of a kiss to the tip of his nose and smiles as his eyelashes flutter through the battle to remain asleep. And he calls _her_ stubborn.

" _Padme_ …" His voice, thick with sleep, catches her attention, "Padme, there's an angel straddling me. Exactly how much trouble am I in if I make mad, passionate love to her all morning?" He is unbelievable. With an amused laugh, her hand comes down to swat his chest none too gently, though the strike leaves a red imprint in her wake, she very much doubts it actually hurt. Most men would open their eyes and talk with her like a normal person, but not Anakin. He must always be different after all.

" _This_ is how you greet your wife in the morning Skywalker?" Finally those azure eyes flutter open lazily, and she feels the touch of calloused palms on her hips. "I'm not impressed. With a tongue like yours one would think you'd manage spin something prettier than that." This time all he gives her is a quiet laugh and a playful roll of his eyes. Those hands of his ascend higher, rising across her body, up and down her hips and sides once, twice and then once more. This is better. Much better.

"Good morning Angel." He murmurs at last and Padme feels herself warming to him far quicker than she should. It must be the fresh air, she is not usually so forgiving. Still, they're here together with their children and no interruptions to spoil this blessed time together; perhaps just this once she can let him get away with it. Only once. She can't start getting soft with him now or the Gods only know what he'll try to pull off next.

"Good morning…" She leans down to kiss him, short and sweet for there's no time for anything else – much to his displeasure. She can feel the stirrings of desire coming from him through their bond and almost rolls her eyes. He's never satisfied… But then again, neither is she. She's always been grateful that their passion has never dulled, no matter what life throws at them, how their children tire them out or their duties managing to eat up most of their time – they can never keep their hands off each other. The eternal honeymoon bliss her mother calls it. They've seen some difficult times together, times where even her hope was shaken – she still remembers him kneeling before her, trembling and near weeping moments before he announced Palpatine's death. She's never been more afraid than she was in that moment… But that terrible moment has led them to this, to the bliss of their lives now. They aren't perfect, nothing is, but what they have is perfect enough for her.

Unfortunately Anakin's desire is interrupted as the doors of their bedroom are opened suddenly, drawing a disappointed moan from her husband's mouth. "My Lady, your sister is downstairs waiting… She mentioned plans for tea together?" Elle keeps her eyes well trained on the window behind the bed, whether from embarrassment or fear of being caught peaking at the very handsome and _very_ naked Jedi in the bed, Padme isn't sure. Whatever the reason, those eyes had better remain _exactly_ where they are.

"Tell her I'll be down in just a moment thank you Elle." The woman nods, modestly averting her eyes to the floor as she does so. Good. Her husband's body is for her eyes only… Though Dorme would have an objection about such a statement she thinks. There is no stopping Dorme in whatever she wishes to do, so the Senator allows her the indiscretion of glancing when she has the chance but she is the only one afforded such a right.

"Jealousy on you is _thoroughly_ arousing Angel…" Anakin murmurs, slipping his non-gloved durasteel hand beneath her nightgown, pulling a small moan from her lips. She feels his cold fingers brush her thigh and fights back the sudden urge to keep her sister waiting just _a little_ longer… No, it would be rude! She is strong enough to resist him for one morning at least.

"I'm _not_ jealous." She protests, narrowing her eyes. She has nothing to be jealous of, he thinks of only her. Of course she isn't jealous, he's ridiculous. "And we don't have time for this." She smacks his hand away from and rises off of his body, leaving him chuckling behind her. "What are your plans for the day?" She adds to distract him as she picks up her brush to attempt to tame her bushy curls enough to at least appear presentable for the day. Perhaps she shouldn't have been so quick to send Elle away…

She's unsurprised and slightly irritated when the straps of her nightgown begin lowering on her arms, being pushed down and off of her body by an invisible touch… _Whatever could it be_ … Padme sends a pointed glance Anakin's way and catches him smirking. Sometimes it is as if she has a fifth child! "You know I don't like it when you do that…"

Another dramatic sigh leaves her husband's lips and she has to fight down her smile, for all that he irritates her, she loves this man. "I promised the boys I'd take them into Theed today, I think Leia's coming along too." That'll be nice, it's difficult sometimes for them to make the time they need with the children; the Jedi Master and Senator have a lot to attend to… It's one of the reasons she loves coming here, there's nothing else in the Galaxy but their family when they're here. The kids will certainly be happy to have a day exclusively with their father for once.

Wait… He isn't going to… He wouldn't _dare_ … "Why Theed? What do they want to do there?"

"Well there's the market place, and the stores, plus you know Leia wants to go to the palace and shadow the Queen at every possible opportunity and-"

"You're lying." She senses it off him in waves; he can hide nothing from her, not with their bond. Her accusation comes with a laugh because while what he says is all _technically_ correct, she'd have known he was lying even without their bond. The boys will tire of the markets after five standard minutes and Leia was with the Queen yesterday… If he is planning what she thinks he's planning… "Anakin Skywalker if you think I'm letting you take our children to ride swoop bikes, you're sorely mistaken." The boys have been _begging_ for an opportunity to ride those terrible things since they arrived, but she won't have it! They're dangerous. Someone could get hurt. And Jon is only _two!_

Anakin clearly senses her thoughts and rises from the bed with another chuckle. This is not funny. "Jon will ride with me Padme, he'll be fine… Do you really think I'll get something happen to them?" He questions and there is no hesitation in her answer… Of course he won't. But that is not the _point._

"Well, no, but-"

"Do you think they could ever fall off, or crash without me catching them?"

"Of course not, however I-"

"Then why are you so worried?" While she has no doubts in his ability to keep their children safe, it doesn't mean accidents can't happen. A moment of distraction on his part could be disastrous – no, she doesn't want her children anywhere _near_ those things. Something could go wrong, what if _he_ falls, rendering him incapable to catch the kids if they follow his lead? "You remember I can hear your thoughts, don't you?" He adds with a smug grin, rising at last from the bed.

Yes, she knows that… Whether it's through their bond or his own Jedi senses, he almost always knows what she's thinking and while it can be infuriating from time to time, she likes it very much too. "I should shut you out…" She mutters, lowering herself down onto the stool of her vanity. Sola must be wondering what's keeping her busy up here. Behind her, there is the rustle of clothing as Anakin pulls on a pair of dark sleep trousers and despite everything, Padme is merely mortal… She cannot resist peeking through the mirror. After thirteen years of marriage and four children, she still finds him as breathtakingly attractive as she did all those years ago, here in Naboo, or in the early days of their marriage. Her husband is a _beautiful_ man… She is a blessed woman.

Anakin catches her staring and she averts her gaze from him immediately, though not before that _oh so_ smug smirk of his stretches across his mouth. "You would never." He's right… Their mental bond is something she cherishes deeply, it's a gift most people in love do not share and she's grateful for it. She has never cut him off fully from her mind before, pushed him back a little when she needs space? Of course. But she has never severed that connection completely. Anakin, however has.

But she doesn't like to think about that day, seeing him fall to his knees before her, broken and so silent… It was heart-breaking. And she had no idea what he was feeling, his severing their bond pulled the air from her lungs – she almost drowned in her worry. "No, never." She answers at last, pushing such memories away from her mind for now. A wave of comfort washes over her suddenly, and her eyes flick up, through the mirror to meet her husband's gaze… He must be reliving those moments too, through her. She hears what he's thinking; it's about that night, the night he fulfilled the prophesy in the eyes of the Jedi and the Galaxy, saving everyone. Saving _her._ They've only ever talked about what happened that night one other time, on their bed, holding the new born Luke and Leia while he recounted everything, she never forced him to reopen the wound after that.

"Later," she promises. "We'll talk later."

Xox

When she finally makes it down to Sola, Padme ignores her sister's disapproving look and runs into the woman's arms with a smile… They've been on Coruscant for too long, she and Anakin have been so busy – not to mention the children's classes, both in the Temple and the private tutoring they receive, alongside Leia's time with Bail learning the art of politics. It breaks Padme's heart that they can't be here to put her into the Legislative Youth Program; Leia would thrive in it much like she had as a young girl. There simply hasn't been time to come back here for family visits lately and she hates it.

"Sola, I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting! I would have been down here sooner, but…" She trails off, unsure of exactly how to end her excuse. But she and Anakin were arguing about their children riding swoop bikes and then almost speaking about issues they've suppressed for years? No, can't say that. She'll tell her the other truth, the easiest to say and certainly the easiest for Sola to believe. "I had a rather difficult time forcing by husband out of bed."

As she expected her sister's mouth turns up in an understanding smirk as she guides them to the small table Threepio set up for them on the balcony. It's a beautiful day and she wants to make the most of being here while she has a chance. With how busy they've been, she has no idea when they'll have an opportunity to return. "I see…" Sola laughs as he settles down onto the chair opposite hers and scoots closer to the table. "I see nothing has changed between you two then?" In response she gives only a smile. What can she say? Nothing has changed between them, she does not desire him any less now than she did in those first sweet days of marriage and she never will.

"Ah, miss Padme." Threepio greets as he enters steps out onto the balcony, "miss Sola! How wonderful to see you again." Sola smiles at the droid and nods in greeting. "Would you prefer you tea served out here, or inside?"

"Here is perfect Threepio, thank you." The droid nods as best he can and turns, waltzing back inside to fetch the tea. Padme watches him go with a smile, despite Threepio's… Problems, she's still in awe that Anakin managed to create him at just nine years old. While Luke is certainly skilled in mechanics, and can tune up their droids as easily as his father, his sole attempt at building a droid was quite simply, a complete disaster.

After Threepio returns with their tea and leaves them to chat, it is not long before Elle appears with a squirming Margaery in her arms, attempting to keep the child in her grip despite the little one's battling. "My Lady? Master Skywalker said you wanted to keep Margaery with you today?" Yes, she certainly did say that. Rising from her seat, she opens her arms for the child who imitates the gesture, reaching for her. The sight warms her heart, she loves all her children, but she adores having a baby around. She wishes she could just keep Margaery like this forever…

"Ma – mama!" The girl squeals as Padme takes her into her arms and kisses her soft hair with a smile. It's quite wonderful, Margaery is learning faster than her siblings did… She's already determined to walk even if her legs will not cooperate fully, and at just a year old she's already attempting to talk. This one had better not grow as fast as her brothers and sister have…

"Yes I did… If he's going to ignore me and take our children onto those death trap swoop bikes, he is not taking my baby too." She coos and carefully lowers herself back down into her seat once more as Elle excuses herself, leaving them alone together. Margaery sits perfectly in her lap, though more than once attempts to reach for one of the cups of hot tea, or worse, tugs at her earrings. She has the strangest fascination with jewellery these days and no one is safe from grabbing hands. "Will you take her for me?" She asks, catching her sister watching the girl with a large smile.

"Yes I will!" Sola laughs and reaches out to her niece, sweeping her up, into her arms. Her sister is the most wonderful aunt her children could ever ask for; Sola was born to be around children, her patience with them is endless. It always surprised her, that she and Darred never had more children after Ryoo and Pooja. If she'd had to place credits on which of them would have a whole hoard of children, her money would have been on Sola.

As if sensing her thoughts, her older sister looks at her with the saddest eyes Padme has seen in a very long time and it's certainly the saddest she's ever seen Sola look. What could be the matter? "I always wanted to have more you know. I live for my girls but I – I longed to have a big family, and sometimes, I know it's terrible, but sometimes I feel a little resentful that the Gods never granted us others." Oh Sola… Her heart breaks in her chest for her sister. She has nothing to be ashamed, of… While perhaps she cannot relate to the issue, conceiving has always been easy for her – too easy at times, Luke and Leia are the proof of that – but she understands what it is like to long for what you feel you cannot have.

"Sola, I'm so sorry."

"I – I just wonder… Did I do something wrong? Am I being punished?"

"Don't talk like that! Sola, _never_ say that again! You're a good person, and you've done nothing wrong." Hearing her blame herself like this is heart-breaking; what a burden she's carried around with her for so long. How long has she been torturing herself like this? "There are things you can do, you know… Treatments and such. But the simplest and easiest route is just have more sex." From what her sister has divulged about she and Darred's intimacies… They are certainly not frequent enough to warrant a large family.

"What?" Sola's eyes widen I shock and she glances at Margaery as if what she has said will somehow upset the child. "Padme! Your baby is right here!"

"Oh, she doesn't understand. I'd be more careful if the others were here of course. Now, would it truly be so difficult for you and Darred to sleep together more than a few times a week?"

"I – I just…" The woman blushes and Padme has to fight down an amused smile. Who is the elder sibling here again? "Sometimes he's tired and… Is that how you and Anakin managed it? You were pregnant with this little one so quickly after Jon, mother and I couldn't believe it."

"Well… To an extent, yes. But there are other factors with us too… If it weren't for those, I think there'd be a legion of Skywalkers by now." Her husband would certainly like that. He's already talking about having another… Margaery is barely one! She understands his desire for as large a family as he can have, but she simply doesn't feel the same rush he does. She'd rather enjoy their time with the children they have now and maybe when Margaery is a little older think about having another. Besides, their youngest girl just _adores_ her father; Padme doesn't think she's ready to share him anymore than she already has to. It's nothing short of adorable, watching the jealous tantrums she throws when Anakin _dares_ show their other children attention… Yes, it's a habit they have to break, but it's still very cute.

"You two… You make love every night don't you?" Sola whispers, looking at Margaery rather than her as she asks. It's a personal question, very personal, but Padme has no qualms about answering. None. They're sisters after all.

"Yes, every night… And most mornings and whenever we can spare the time in between."

"Gods, Padme! How can you both be so insatiable?!"

In response, despite the sombre nature of their conversation she can only giggle and bring her cooling tea up, to her lips to sip. It's well known she and Anakin share a very… Healthy intimate life together. They make no secret of it, so much so that Luke and Leia have taken to groaning and throwing things when they catch them kissing. It _is_ their jobs as parents to embarrass them after all. Just wait until they're older and… Understand things more…

"So… You really want him like that so frequently?" At Margaery's insistence, Sola sets her down as she speaks and the girl is off, crawling as fast as she can and babbling away in baby-speak. At the very least, unlike with her other children, Padme doesn't have to worry about this one using the Force to cause some kind of trouble or another. Her youngest girl possesses an unusually low midichlorian count; so low that there are even claims of an affair on her part, whispers that Margaery being simply passed off as a Skywalker… For once she almost _let_ Anakin force choke the reporters when she heard such awful lies were being spoken about their daughter. It's horrible! How can anyonesay such things about a _baby?_

"Yes… Every moment of the day. Unless of course, we're with the children, then our attentions are focused solely on them." Sola is quiet for a moment, sipping at her own tea, clearly deep in thought so Padme decides to fill the silence with a story. "You know once, while our marriage was still a secret, Anakin was assigned to protect me during a Senate meeting for some reason or another, we hadn't seen each other in a month or so, and _tensions_ were rather high."

"Oh Gods… What did you do?" Comes her sister's groan, making her smirk.

"Well, I claimed to have a terrible headache half way through and asked my Jedi protector to escort me home… Though at first, we didn't exactly make it all the way there." Sola's wide eyes tell her without words of the shock she's ignited. "We stumbled into the nearest closet and… Well I'm sure you can imagine."

"In a _closet_?!"

"It was far from the first time we made use of such spaces… And far from the last…"

"Tell me you don't still…" This inspires a secret smile which she attempts to hide behind her cup. That time in the closet was far, far from their last visit there together. When your marriage is a secret you steal what time you can, no matter the place. She learned quickly not to be picky about where their… Reunions happened.

"Just because our marriage is out in the open doesn't mean we have to take all the risk out of it dear sister." Is it _highly_ unprofessional and risky? Yes, of course. But it's also so very, wonderfully thrilling too.

Sola shakes her head, totally exasperated, and she takes a moment to turn around and check on Margaery… She turns just in time to see the girl attempt to pull herself up with the help of a table leg only onto her feet but stumble and fall onto her little bottom very quickly. Her youngest girl is _very_ determined to begin walking though secretly, Padme wishes she was not. She wants her baby to be a baby for as long as possible. Jon is only two and already running around at the speed of light, throwing his toys with the Force in tantrums and talking away to anyone who'll listen. He tries his hardest not to let her baby him anymore at all and she hates it.

"You said there are other factors with you conceptions. Are those how you stop the pregnancies?" Sola asks quietly, watching Margaery with that sad smile again and it's all she can do not to sigh at the sight. She wishes she'd known about these feelings of hers sooner… Maybe she could have helped, or at the very least offered a shoulder to cry on.

"Anakin has the healers in the Temple make me vial of this terrible green liquid. I have no idea what it is exactly, but it's much more efficient than any pills regular doctors or medical droids prescribe. Female Jedi have been using it for centuries to prevent pregnancies – more so than ever during the war. I drink it every day, and I don't conceive. Though it's easily the foulest thing I've tasted in all my life…" Merely thinking about the awful green concoction is enough for her face to scrunch up in disgust. Anakin took one sniff at it once and almost lost his lunch… Coming from the man who once _willingly_ eat live insects, that truly speaks volumes… Drinking it is a daily chore she dreads… But it must be done if she doesn't wish to spend her life constantly pregnant, which of course, she does not.

"And… You only stop taking it when you and Anakin want to have another child?"

"Well, not exactly." Sola's eyebrows shoot up, and she sees the question in her sister's eyes and answers it before she asks. "With Jon, we decided that I'd stop taking it and see what happens. But sometimes – as with Margaery, life has gotten in the way and I forgot to take it. Anakin says it's the will of the Force, but I like to say she was simply a surprise." The girl in question calls out to her, and Padme turns once more to see she's fallen down again though this time her little face has scrunched up, on the verge of tears. "Oh… Oh my sweet girl!" She rises quickly and steps into the room to pull the sniffling child into her arms. "Did you hurt yourself?" In response her lip quivers and it's not at all unexpected when she cries for Anakin.

"Dada! Da da da!" She truly is obsessed with her father, Padme is used to playing second fiddle like this, Leia is a total daddy's girl too after all but she has no complaints. It's extremely sweet and she _wants_ Margaery to be close with her father… Though she does not want the girl to thump Jon in the face when Anakin so much as ruffles his hair…

"Daddy will be back later." She reaches over to the table and grabs the small bowl of cloudberries she had Threepio set out when he prepared everything for Sola's arrival. There is one way to cheer up her children when they're grumpy and it is food. The Skywalker appetite is hereditary it seems… For Luke and Leia, anything containing Shuura or the fruit itself quietens them immediately but for Jon and Margaery it's cloudberries. "Here you go." Her daughter's little fingers grab a handful of the treat and quickly bring one to her mouth.

"Mmm…" She smiles at last, and Padme leans back in her seat once more, while Sola just laughs. The ever changing moods of her children are exhausting to keep up with sometimes. Unlike Anakin, she can't simply sense what they want; she has to deal with it the mundane way – suffering through tantrums until she finds the right solution.

"Padme?" Comes the woman across the table's voice, quiet and unsure as she helps Margaery stick to one berry at a time in her mouth.

"Hmm?"

"When you and Anakin decided to have Jon… After you stopped using the drink, how long – how long did it take? For you to get pregnant I mean." Oh… She sees. Looking away from her daughter and to her sister, Padme hesitates. Sola is looking for some kind of comparison to her own attempts at getting pregnant again, but she's afraid her answer may only upset her which of course, is the very last thing she wants to do. Especially where this sensitive subject is involved.

"Around a month. Not much longer than a few weeks really… But unlike with Luke and Leia, we were actively _trying_ …" She tries not to wince as she speaks, and wonders how many times Sola has looked at negative results on pregnancy tests… How many months has her womanly cycle come and murdered any hopes she had… If only she'd known sooner, she'd have… Well she would have _been there._

"It only took one night for you to get the twins, didn't it?" Yes, one wonderful, blissfully happy and terribly heart wrenching night… It was all they had. He'd been gone for months beforehand and would be sent off again for an unspecified amount of time the very next morning. That one night of desperate, passionate love started their family – it gave them their first babies. Those children, Anakin's salvation… Their creation she _does_ believe was the will of the Force.

"Yes. But it happens like that sometimes. You weren't trying when you got pregnant with Ryoo." Her first little niece – well, not so little anymore – was a complete surprise. Born within the first year of her sister's marriage… Their father cried when he saw the baby, no matter how much he attempts to deny it now, Padme saw it for herself. It was such a happy time for their family. Her mother swore blind it was the first of many grandchildren and she was right… Though it was a long while before her own children came along.

"Oh Padme…" Sola lifts her hands to her face and she thinks she's attempting to hide tears spilling over onto her pale cheeks. Oh no, if she starts crying, there'll be no stopping her either. When her sister reveals her face once more, it's clear she _is_ crying and the sight is agonizing. "I – I know it's wrong, but sometimes Padme, I… I envy you terribly."

Envies her? Why in the name of the Force would Sola envy _her_? She has a great life here, a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters… Perhaps she's unhappy with the small nature of her family but other than that, there is nothing she is missing that Padme has. "What do you mean?"

Sola sniffles and then looks away as if she's ashamed to speak her mind while looking her in the eye. "Sometimes I look at you and Anakin, and he's so affectionate and loving with you. I wish Darred would be like that from time to time… The most he does is hold my hand in public. And – And everything you've said, Anakin can't get enough of you. It not like that with us. I'm not sure it ever has been…"

Oh Sola… To feel like that must be terrible! Much less keeping it bottled up the way she has been; no wonder she's so sad… She _must_ talk to Darred, he loves her! She is sure he would never, ever want her to feel any of this. "What would make you think Darred doesn't feel the same about you?

Sola shakes her head and sighs, but Padme is momentarily distracted by Margaery leaning forward and pressing a big wet kiss to her cheek… Such a sweet girl. She hopes she never changes and remains this affectionate, loving little person forever. She returns the kiss with one of her own and smiles when her daughter giggles and reaches for her hair.

"When we… Are together, intimately, it's always very nice. But when it's… Er… _Over_ , Darred lays by my side and that is that. Sometimes he'll even use the refresher immediately afterward and come back and sleep when he's done. It's not very… Romantic." _Oh…_ Well it's no wonder she feels so down! What is Darred thinking? Sola deserves so much more than some _nice_ love making then falling asleep side by side – she deserves _passion_ and love making that leaves them both so exhausted they can hardly move!

"You have to start taking charge Sola! Show him what you want!"

"How would I – how would I even do that?" She almost sighs… Once more she questions which of them are in fact the eldest of them again? It certainly doesn't feel like she is the younger sister here. How is Sola this naive? She has two children! Where's her _passion_?

With a smirk, Padme hands her child another berry and says, "straddle him and _ride_ him! Wake him up in the morning with your mouth on him, _take what you want…_ " It's easy! Padme conquered any fears of doing such things in the first year of her marriage – and those times together were so fleeting, they almost never got to happen. How has Sola been married far longer than she has, openly and publicly but never experienced these things?

Her sister's eyes are so wide that she almost thinks they're going to pop out, " _what?_ Oh no, I couldn't… Do you really do that?"

"Of course." She shrugs and reaches forward for the small plastic cup of water with the special lid created for young children to sip from and hands it to her eager daughter. "I like to please my husband. And he likes it even more. You should try it – not just for Darred, but for yourself too. I think you'll find there's quite the thrill to it." Sola's cheeks flush a deep red at the mere thought of being bold, and Padme remembers what that was like, for both her and Anakin. Losing their innocence to one another meant there was no previous experience for either of them to draw back on… There was more than one instance where they'd blushed and trembled with nervousness and inexperience around each other where sex was concerned. "You want more children, don't you?" She nods silently, eyes wide with embarrassment and shock, but she's listening. "Then use what time you have! Take advantage of the twenty eight days in a month you get…"

"I think… I think you're right. Yes! I'll do it." The smile Sola grants her is nothing short of joyous. She's excited, nervous and _happy._ The misery she saw in her sister's eyes before is gone and _what_ a relief it is to see. Darred it seems, is in for quite an evening…

Xoxo

She catches Anakin looking at her as they watch their children play on the sand and in the water. She meets his gaze with a smile, almost self-conscious under his intense watch. What is he looking at? His look melts into a smile just as Leia slips and lands on her rear in the water with a squeal making her twin roar with laughter. "What?" She half laughs, glancing at their children for a moment before returning her eyes to him. She sees him swallow, a sure sign he's nervous about something and waits. Her gentle probe into his thoughts with her mind tells her he's happy, content but buzzing with energy, anticipating the talk she promised him this morning. Ah.

"I was just thinking – wondering really, what exactly I did to deserve all this… To deserve you, and them." He gestures toward the four miniature Skywalkers and she follows the movement with her eyes… Jon and Margaery capture her attention for a moment; both sitting on the sand, playing with their toys happily enough, but what makes Padme smile is that their little hands are entwined even as they play their game. She wishes they'd thought to bring one of their holorecorders down with them… She'd love to preserve such a sight forever.

"Perhaps you wished so desperately and consistently for my affections all those years ago, the Force grew tired of listening and finally gave you what you wanted..." Her smile is matched by his own, even as he shakes his head and looks toward their children. Anakin is pure emotion in human form, he feels everything much more intensely than others, often thinking with his heart more often than his mind so it's no wonder that such thoughts plague him now, even while relaxing on the beach surrounded by their family. He's always been crippled with self-doubt and she's afraid that'll never change.

" _Padme…"_ He's trying to be serious, she sees that… It's not often that she's the one making jokes out of a situation, but it happens from time to time. But humour isn't what he wants right now, he wants their talk, he's already opened up to her about all that's happened and she supposes it's long past time she did the same.

"What's bothering you?" She whispers, reaching out to stroke his cheek lightly with the backs of her fingers. She'll listen to whatever he feels he must say, and when all is resolved they'll eat whatever meal the chief droid has prepared then put their children to bed and have a little grown up time of their own. Perhaps by then, all will be resolved in that busy mind of his and he'll have peace for the night. She hopes so, very much.

"I've always wondered… You could have had any man you wanted, lived a life publically and openly with anyone else… You have _no idea_ how many men I sensed who would have traded places with the clones out on the battle fields just for an opportunity to have your attention… But you chose _me._ Chose years of deception, of hiding your personal life and constantly worrying about what might happen." Her hand moves lower, off of his cheek to his neck, then over the curve of his shoulder. He just doesn't understand. How many times has _she_ told him that it is her who is the lucky one? She is not the only one with an entire legion of admirers after all… How many HoloNet reports has she had to endure over the years with claims of his affairs numerous with actresses, singers, models… Even regular woman claiming to have given him children. None of them are true – they could never be. She'd never doubt him for a moment but each time it made her wonder exactly what he's wondering now… Why her? Why commit himself to her so young, when he could take lovers wherever he was, have different experiences, perhaps even enjoy his missions on different worlds rather than spending his time pining for her.

"You really don't realise how special you are, do you?" Anakin Skywalker is renowned for his bravery, quick wit, skills in battle, heroism and having an ego the size of the rotunda. He practically _oozes_ self-assurance and confidence. However her _Ani_ is different. When they're alone together the pretence falls away and she sees the crippling self-doubt, the fear he carries daily, the anger and the regret… _That_ is the true Anakin Skywalker. He may know he is the Chosen One, the saviour of the Galaxy, but Padme knows that most days he does not feel like those things. He looks at her with a frown now, because the answer to her question, is no. He doesn't know how special he is – he never has. "You are one of – if not _the_ most powerful Jedi to ever live Anakin. And more than that, you're the Chosen One! Son of the Force. _You_ could have had anyone you wanted – anyone – yet you chose me. In comparison I'm nothing too exceptional."

There's silence for a moment, then two, then three and she looks away from him, toward their children instead. She's never understood this innate self-loathing he has and she's certainly never found a way to make him see himself as she sees him – as their children see him… Perhaps she never will. "Nothing too exceptional?" He repeats at last, so quietly his voice comes almost as a whisper. It attracts her gaze back to his face once more to see the disbelief painting his features. He looks as if he simply cannot believe she'd say such a thing to him… As if she's insulted him rather than herself. "Padme, you're – I can't…" He stumbles over his words for a few moments until she puts an end to it with two fingers pressed to his lips. She doesn't need to hear declarations of love or a thousand complements to know he values her above himself, she doesn't need them nor does she want them.

"Hush… It's alright." She's interrupted by Leia using the Force to knock down the pile of damp sand Luke has been compiling into something of a tower, making Jon just roar with laughter followed shortly by Margaery who copies her brother though she has no understanding of just what's going on. Turning her attention back to her husband, Padme readies herself for a long overdue confession. These words should have come from her lips so long ago, that it feels almost… Redundant to say them now. Still, he has a right to know. "Ani, there's something I never told you."

As she expected he frowns, because they're always honest with each with each other… They're supposed to tell each other _everything_ , that's the vow they made after Palpatine's death. She's kept to the vow as best she can over the years but there are things he could not have handled hearing, thus she kept her secrets to herself… But now he's stronger than ever, wiser too and she thinks at last he's ready to listen. "What is it?"

She sighs and glances at their children once more, the very sight of them brings a smile to her face regardless of what she's about to say. "When I was pregnant with Luke and Leia, and you told me about your dreams, I believed you – I believed in them. You were right once before, with your mother and I thought… I thought it was fate, destiny perhaps. I had hope that they were merely bad dreams as I told you, but I also believed if there was the slightest possibility of your visions being true, I had to be prepared."

He takes a moment to register all she has said and Padme gives him what time he needs. It is certainly a lot to process and her words send him back to a time neither of them like to think about… They almost lost everything then, who knows what would have happened if he'd made a different choice in Palpatine's office… What would life be like now? For him, for her… For their children… Would she have died? If so, what would have become of Luke and Leia? Of Anakin? She shudders to imagine. They know some of Palpatine's dark plans for the Galaxy, but not everything and she fears they never will – especially while his supporters still thrive underground. When he glances away from her, eyes narrowing as his frown deepens, Padme knows he's on the verge of anger, they've been together long enough for her to know the sighs without having to sense anything. "Ani-"

"What did you do?" He growls suddenly, and she feels his mind become shielded suddenly, blocking her from his thoughts completely though she suspects it has everything to do with keeping their Force sensitive children ignorant of his anger and nothing to do with her.

"What do you mean?" Her response only draws an eye roll from her husband.

"I _know_ you Padme… You would have done something if you thought you were going to _die._ " He is not wrong, and perhaps that is a true testament to just how well he knows her, but now is not the right time for such thoughts. Maybe later, when the sour mood has passed. "What did you do?"

She's being truthful with him, so she must tell him everything… But that doesn't make saying any of it any easier. She _knows_ exactly how Anakin shall view this – she didn't trust him, she lied to him… All the doubt he carried on his shoulders then shall come rushing back to torment him now, in what should be their happiest days. Her tongue flicks out to wet her lips as her shoulders set, Padme is no coward, she can own up her own actions and face whatever reactions he throws her way. "I transferred money into a secret account, I wanted to eventually pass most of my wealth into it so that if I… If I died you would have access to all the credits you'd need to care for Luke and Leia." He doesn't look at her, but instead the blissfully oblivious twins and without their bond, she wonders what he's thinking. Is he angry? Does he understand? "Sola knew everything… She would have helped you." When he still does not speak, she reaches for his hand and laces their fingers together. He may be angry with her, but this subject is still a difficult one for them both. She doesn't enjoy thinking back to that time. "I also transferred ownership of Varykino to you – under the name you used for our wedding of course… And had birth records drawn up and ready to be filed listing you as the baby's father with that name too." Tears prick at her eyes as the memories seep back into her mind, long repressed and ready to haunt her once more. She was so afraid… Afraid for him, for herself, for the baby – babies as they'd later find out. Nothing was alright but she pretended otherwise for his sake. "I was so scared… I had no idea what was going to happen and…" It's impossible to speak suddenly; any words wishing to leave her mouth have to battle through the lump growing in her throat.

Finally he looks at her once more and there is no trace of the anger she saw building before, only sadness, sympathy perhaps and something else… A fear she has not seen swirling in his eyes since those days, since Luke and Leia's birth… His hand squeezes hers and she's _so glad_ to feel it that she nearly sobs. "You weren't acting like yourself, I had no idea what was going on. I was trying to-"

"I know." He does not let her finish, instead knocking down the mental shields and Padme feels a rush of love and comfort wash over her and almost gasps in relief at the sensation. "I _know_." He repeats, shifting closer and lifting his gloved hand to wipe away a tear she didn't realise was on her cheek. "I wasn't in the most understanding mind set then… I can see now my behaviour did not inspire trust from anyone. I would have done _anything_ to save you Padme… I was prepared to do…" His voice cracks pitifully and it tugs at her heart.

"It's alright…" She whispers, but he only shakes his head.

" _No,_ it's not. You don't understand… I knew he was evil, in that moment I knew exactly who he was and what he'd done and I still… I still _considered_ doing whatever he wanted. I reached for my lightsaber and I had no idea what I was going to do. I made no choice, it just happened." Oh Ani… Shifting up, onto her knees, she leans closer still cupping his cheeks with her hands and lets his despair run through her. Everyone, it seems, has something they supress… Sola supresses her longings, Anakin supresses his guilt and Padme… She supresses many things, her own guilt being one of them.

"You're wrong! I _do_ understand… But what you _almost_ did, or could have done doesn't matter Anakin! What matters is what you _actually_ did… And what you did is save us all." Now it is her turn to wipe away his tears, as she has done before more than once. "I'm here, you're here and our children are here… Look at them." She removes her hands and he does as he's told. "Let go of the past Ani and think about the future… Think about _them._ " Those children aren't going to think less of him for a moment of temptation after weeks of torment and fear; they'll respect him _more_ for it just as she does. He made the right choice and it has led them here. He has nothing to be ashamed of. "Look at them," she tells him again though he already does, "they love you, just like I do. Do you really think anything is going to change that?"

"They – and you – are my life." She leans forward as he speaks and leaves a kiss to his cheek. He's told her this before, many times… She has even heard him whisper it to the children as they sleep. They know how much he loves them as well as she does, Anakin makes no secret of it and it's something she adores about him. "I – I don't know what I would do if-"

"You'll _never_ find out, I promise." They aren't going anywhere, none of them are. "I'm afraid you're stuck preforming your fatherly and husbandly duties for life my love." His gloved hand comes up to stroke through her hair and his eyes watch the movement closely. After a moment the corner of his lips curves upwards and she's gifted with his beautiful smile. It comes not a moment too soon. "I love you… We all love _you_ , not the character the media adores to parade around as the perfect hero. We love you for who you are… A conflicted person who did the right thing. That's what makes you a true hero Anakin."

"What did I do to deserve you?" The moment the words are out of their lips, Padme kisses him, to silence him, to reassure him, simply because she wants to… She is not quite sure why. Whatever the reason, the kiss works and he's quiet. When they pull back, her own lips stretch into a smile as she lean her forehead against his temple, simply drinking in the peace… With a husband like hers and four children, peace is not something she comes by easily these days.

"It's not about deserving Ani, it's about loving. And you love me more than anyone else ever could… As I do you. That's enough. That's all anyone can ever ask for." His arm comes around her and she shifts closer to his body; desiring nothing more than his touch right now. All she wants is his love. It's all she's ever wanted, she's never asked for more of him and never would. As long as he loves her, everything will be alright; she knows it down to her soul.

"You should be a Jedi Master Angel…"

"I think I shall leave that to you." When his lips descend upon hers, Padme feels herself lost in his touch more so when he nudges her lips apart to drink from her mouth as he so often does however the kindling passion sparking between them is never given its chance to burn as she'd like it to. There are four children here with them who see to that.

"Ew! Mommy's kissing daddy!" Leia's cry pulls them apart and Padme turns to see the girl cringing by the water, the look of sheer horror on her face would suggest she'd witnessed something traumatic, not her parents showing affection. _Honestly_ … Luke is no better, though he's less dramatic than his sister. He merely looks embarrassed.

"Dad _stop_ …" The boy whines, making Anakin chuckle beside her as she rolls her eyes. Must all Skywalkers be so dramatic about all things? They were only kissing! Anakin rises to his feet and holds out a hand to help her up too, ignoring their children's sudden fit of giggles – even _Margaery_ laughs and she has no idea what's going on. Still, she does like seeing her children happy, even if it's partially at her expense.

"Alright, let's get you washed up for dinner. Threepio will fry a circuit if you trail sand everywhere." Luke and Leia take off at once, challenging each other to a race of some kind, Jon tries to keep up but his littler legs aren't up to the challenge though that does not dampen his determination. As Anakin scoops Margaery up, into his arms Padme gathers the forgotten toys and blankets scattered across the sand.

"Dada!" She hears the girl giggle, and smiles to herself. She'd thought Luke was bad with shadowing Anakin, from the looks of things he is going to have competition. At least he likes the attention, well perhaps like isn't a strong enough word… He _thrives_ on one of their daughters being true daddy's girls.. It's alright, her time will come when they realises just how over protective their daddy can be… _That_ is certainly going to be interesting. And in the meantime, she has her boys… They show her more than enough affection to keep her happy. Especially Luke, her sweet, sensitive boy.

"Mom, dad, come on!" The boy in question shouts down from the top of the balcony – the very balcony where she and Anakin made their vows to one another all those years ago, the sight is so lovely that she cannot resist smiling at her husband when she senses similar thoughts from him. "Jon ran into Artoo and knocked him down but he won't let me help him up!" Anakin all but roars with laughter and even she can't fight a small smile at the thought… Poor Artoo. As they climb the stairs leading up to their home, Anakin reaches for her hand, threading his fingers through hers and it's strange but he almost looks… Lighter. And certainly much happier than before too. She feels like that too, now she's confessed her secret. It's a relief she didn't know she needed so desperately. With her mind now clear of all its stress, it's free to return to her conversation with Sola as she glances at her husband, an idea coming to mind.

"Ani, there's something I wanted to ask you."

"Angel, I am _not_ giving Darred tips on sex!"


End file.
